Transformation, Transition, Rebirth, Evolution, Growth, Liberation, Surrender, The unknown, The natural course of things
Death XIII Crystal:
Bloodstone - transformation, change, emotional balance and stability, rebirth, renewal, grounding, stability, protection
This stone is known for its grounding and protective properties, which can help to dispel negative energy and promote feelings of courage and strength. This is a powerful stone for those going through times of change or upheaval. Carry or wear it to promote a sense of stability and resilience. The red spots or flecks in this popular stone are often interpreted as drops of blood. These blood drops represent the shedding of old layers and the birth of new ones. Use this crystal in meditation or energy work for facilitating the process of transformation, surrender, and renewal. Bloodstone promotes feelings of safety and security, which is especially helpful during times of change, upheaval, or uncertainty.
Death XIII Healing Herb:
Rose - transformation, healing, renewed balance, spiritual growth, self-love and acceptance
Rose is commonly used in spiritual and magical rituals due to its association with emotional healing and balance. Additionally, it promotes spiritual growth and transformation. This classic flower often appears in the journey of life, from birth and growth to eventual decay and death. Therefore we usually see them in ceremonies that mark significant life events, such as weddings, funerals, and other rites of passage.
Rose petals are ideal in bath rituals to promote emotional healing and release negative energy. The thorns on the stem of the rose represent the challenges and obstacles that one must overcome in order to reach a state of beauty or fulfillment. In weddings, the thorns symbolize the hardships that may come with their union, but also the sacrifices they are willing to make for each other's happiness. Rosebuds and thorns represent the difficulties of letting go and moving on, as well as the strength and resilience needed to face the future while giving birth to a new normal.
Today's Journal Entry:
The day my mother and her husband drove away with my little girl my life as walking Death XIII began. It was a living death to try to walk through life feeling powerless, destroyed, and my heart broken by those who were supposed to support and protect me, those whom I trusted. I can't even begin to find the words to explain how it feels to walk around feeling dead inside. I was in emotional shock, traumatized, and frozen in time. Even now, 10 years later, there is a huge part of me that has died and although I search within myself to be reborn, find my joy again, feel safe, and reunite with my daughter, it just never happens. The wound is too deep. Healing fully seems impossible, like I will never get what fire I had left in me back. I think about how a physical death might be the only way to heal from this. Although I have a lot to live for, this pain in my heart and soul never goes away. My daughter is an adult now and wants nothing to do with me because she believes I abandoned her. Nothing I say or do will convince her otherwise. Parental Alienation Syndrome is a walking death.
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