Jan 9, 2023

The #1 Lie We Tell Ourselves

It’s not my fault.

That’s right!

I am not to blame. I am innocent. Most of us, every day, unconsciously shrug off responsibility for our lives.

Here's a list of possible excuses:

I had bad parents.

Those people were mean to me.

I was taken advantage of.

I got distracted.

I was hungry.

You started it.

If you weren’t so ____ .

I was penniless.

Nobody helped me.

They don’t care.

It’s good enough.

The traffic light was still yellow.

You get the idea. We are always deflecting responsibility, shirking any blame. It’s never our fault.

The truth is we are delusional in believing that escaping responsibility will free us from punishment, consequences, or any negative repercussions.

But, this is such a lie we tell ourselves. Additionally, our culture tells us we can escape blame and responsibility. Shielding ourselves from taking responsibility for where our life currently is, is actually perpetuating more internal conflict.

If you blame the crack in the sidewalk for tripping you every day when you walk to work, it will continue to trip you. You mumble and grumble about how the city needs to fix the sidewalk, the taxes aren’t being utilized correctly, and that tree should be cut down whose roots are messing up the sidewalk. You will say anything to keep from taking responsibility. It’s the fault of everyone and everything else. You have given the crack in the sidewalk your power. You have allowed it to put you in a bad mood which you take to work. You yell at your employees, blame the weather, and can’t make any sales.

On the other hand, taking responsibility for tripping over the crack might look like this. When you walk to work the next day you walk around the crack in the sidewalk, pull out your phone, take a photo then write some notes as to the exact location. When you arrive at your office you look up the correct city branch, locate their contact information then shoot them an email with the attached photo. After walking around the crack for a couple of weeks the city personnel arrives and repairs the crack.

Now, you feel light and good knowing you were able to contribute to the safety of your neighbors and the ongoing beautification of your neighborhood. You are empowered. You took responsibility for your experience and made an upgrade that helps everyone.

So, always ask yourself when you believe it’s not your fault,

“What am I not seeing?”

“How can I turn this around?”

"How did I create this?"

Most importantly, seeing how you contributed to the problem is a hallmark of maturity, therefore, is not automatically a bad thing.

Taking responsibility for your life and circumstances will empower you to take control of where you are going, manage your life and make your dreams come true.

If nothing is your fault then you will perpetuate feeling like a victim and will always feel stuck, unable to create the beautiful life you deserve.

Don't lie to yourself.

You created all that you are currently experiencing. Cut the cords of fear, step up to the plate and say, “Yes, it is my fault I keep tripping over the same crack in the sidewalk every day. Today, I decide to wake up and take responsibility for creating the smooth path I desire.”